One of The 8th Wonders of The World

The spring semester ended back in May so I got to have a few weeks off from my evening Reference gig. The first of two summer semesters started last week so I am back on the grind.

At my day job, we have an internal website where short articles are posted. These stories range from information about our investment products, to various charitable efforts our "associates" perform, to events that "associates" have attended and lots of stuff in between. One one of these articles last year was about a celebrity sighting in our building's lobby. A couple of the facilities guys happened to see and meet Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. I think it was said that his lawyer is in our building. I am not really impressed by celebrity sightings, but was extremely impressed with one of the quotes in the article regarding the interaction. This associate said that, "it was like seeing one of the 8th wonders of the world." I love everything about this quote. I am a huge fan of mixed metaphors, and while this isn't technically a mixed metaphor, it is deliciously flawed.

In a related note, last week I watched the A&E Biography of Andre the Giant. Andre was very popular when I was growing up and I never realized what a tragic figure he is. He knew that his gigantism would shorten his life so he left his small town in France so that he could wrestle as a way to see the world before his premature death. He was and will continue to be my favorite giant (take that Gheorge Muresan!).

Another thing I love is cigars. Now that the warm weather is here I like to go out in my backyard with a smoke, a drink, and my three dogs. It offers me a time to reflect on my day and my surroundings. It also gives me the chance to watch my dogs chase moths. I've seen seen that screen saver where the pug licks the screen. I think someone should create one of dogs chasing moths. It is captivating. When I decided that I'd start a blog I had envisioned doing reviews of different cigars and whiskeys that I try and regularly enjoy. I don't think I have the discipline to conduct a thorough review of a product (as evidenced by my rambling prose). Instead I am just going to mention things that I have recently had and whether I like them or not. I read both cigar reviews and whiskey reviews online and I enjoy and appreciate the time and commitment they make. Therefore, I don't feel I have that much more to add to the culture other than to say that this is what I smoked or drank and whether or not I'd buy it again. If people want to know more then they can go ahead and ask.

Smoked: Tatuaje "pork chop"

Buy again: absolutely

Me and You, Your Momma, and Your Cousin Too.

Last night at work, two students got trapped inside one of the elevators for about an hour. These kids looked like they were putting the finishing touches on the 4th semester of their communications degree so this was the last thing they needed. I know some people who profess to having a fear of elevators (the two men pictured above do not). I don't fear elevators but they are not my favorite mode of vertical transportation. At my old job, we were in a building that had the worst elevator service I have ever experienced. I was never afraid that I'd get stuck in them, they would just take an exceptionally long time to arrive in order to bring you down to exit the building. A few times, I almost missed my train home because I'd be waiting over 10 minutes just for an elevator. Now, when I leave my floor I usually take the stairs down.

The stairwells are absolutely disgusting. They are clad in peeling wallpaper in parts and the stairs themselves are painted a bright catsup-red. Though, for some reason encountering a person in the stairwell is less awkward than riding in the elevator with them. I'd love to hear some other people's thoughts on that. (BTW, my favorite mode of vertical transportation? jetpack followed closely by the rope ladder).

Good Times at the Halfway Cafe

A sizable portion of our guest user demographic falls into the same category: white, male, 28-44, tattooed, reeking of cigarettes, and carrying an ID that, though similar to a driver's license, is purely for identification purposes. This pattern baffled the heck out me until I mentioned it to one of my coworkers who informed me that there is halfway house about 2 blocks from the library.
Since I get to see these fellas' identification cards (one time I got to have a look at a probation ID since they had no other form) I can glean all sorts of information that is useful for internet searching. Actually, the only useful info is their name and town. I do admit that I secretly like to play a little game of guess their age (full disclosure: I do this with all users seeking guest id's. I'm OK at this but not ready to join the carnival circuit just yet). These guys are tough to gauge because I don't think their lifestyle is conducive to healthy living. Anyway, these patrons are great to google since their names, along with their town, tend to pop up in the local police blotters. You may remember these patrons from such local police blotter headlines as: "[Insert Town Name] man faces domestic assault charges" or "[Insert suspect name] charged with violating a restraining order."
I'm not exactly sure how this state's penal system works or the intricacies of how a halfway house functions within it but I do know that I have heard ads on the radio for the halfway cafe and if this is the type of clientele that hangs out there (or maybe is employed there in a work-release arrangement with the state) I will not be bringing the family there for footlongs until they at least stop smoking so much.

Patronage

If you are not student, faculty, or staff then you need to get a guest username and password to use the computers. In addition to assisting people look up materials and navigate the library's print and electronic resources, I dole out said passwords provided that the requester has a valid photo ID. I work a few nights a week and I'd guess that 95% of the passes I give out are to the same people every week. I am constantly surprised how many people either don't have a computer at home or don't have Internet access. This could be the first in a series of profiles on these "regulars":

The Mole

I have been encountering this guy since I started working ~4 years ago. He's around 60 years young, 5'4", 135lbs, translucent skin, and slight hump in his back. He actually reminds me of Gollum from Lord of the Rings. That is, if Gollum had bought a crate of that Ronco spray on hair they had infomercials for a few years back.

In the commercial, Ron would demonstrate how the spray should be applied to a bald spot to discreetly hide the scalp. Gollum's problem is that his head was just one big bald spot. His application literally looked as though he had rubbed shoe polish all over his head. Fascinating to stare at? You bet. Discreet? Not so much. Much to my amusement he kept this look for a solid year or two. He must have finally caught a glimpse of himself because one day he decided to go in a different direction with his follicle enhancement. A hair piece. It looks like something died on his head or he's a huge fan of the original Star Trek series (I'd wager he is one). This is the look he has been rocking for the last two years so I look forward to his next solution.

People who take the time and energy to visit a library just to use the computers for the Internet intrigue (and disgust) me. This guy especially. I began to wonder what he could be looking at online every night. One evening after he had settled in I decided to casually stroll past and that is when I found my answer: www.anastasiadate.com : "The fastest way to reach thousands of Russian ladies." I haven't seen him navigate onto a different website since I made my unsettling discovery. He's on there at least 3 nights a week. Is he slowly saving up to purchase a wife? What's taking so long? Is he a very discerning shopper? I don't have the answers but wouldn't be surprised if he comes in one night with a tattoo of hair on his head, a hot Moldovan chick on his arm, and a request for 2 guest user passes.

this site will soon be dedicated to getting stupid

One of my good friends is what they would call an "earlier adopter" of internet technology. He was one of the first people I know who had a web site. I can still remember sitting in his parent's front room on the computer as he typed on bulletin boards in the 90's. He eventually setup several of his own websites. One of these early websites had a place saver with an optimistic promise: "this site will soon be dedicated to getting stupid." Well, he delivered.