Patronage

If you are not student, faculty, or staff then you need to get a guest username and password to use the computers. In addition to assisting people look up materials and navigate the library's print and electronic resources, I dole out said passwords provided that the requester has a valid photo ID. I work a few nights a week and I'd guess that 95% of the passes I give out are to the same people every week. I am constantly surprised how many people either don't have a computer at home or don't have Internet access. This could be the first in a series of profiles on these "regulars":

The Mole

I have been encountering this guy since I started working ~4 years ago. He's around 60 years young, 5'4", 135lbs, translucent skin, and slight hump in his back. He actually reminds me of Gollum from Lord of the Rings. That is, if Gollum had bought a crate of that Ronco spray on hair they had infomercials for a few years back.

In the commercial, Ron would demonstrate how the spray should be applied to a bald spot to discreetly hide the scalp. Gollum's problem is that his head was just one big bald spot. His application literally looked as though he had rubbed shoe polish all over his head. Fascinating to stare at? You bet. Discreet? Not so much. Much to my amusement he kept this look for a solid year or two. He must have finally caught a glimpse of himself because one day he decided to go in a different direction with his follicle enhancement. A hair piece. It looks like something died on his head or he's a huge fan of the original Star Trek series (I'd wager he is one). This is the look he has been rocking for the last two years so I look forward to his next solution.

People who take the time and energy to visit a library just to use the computers for the Internet intrigue (and disgust) me. This guy especially. I began to wonder what he could be looking at online every night. One evening after he had settled in I decided to casually stroll past and that is when I found my answer: www.anastasiadate.com : "The fastest way to reach thousands of Russian ladies." I haven't seen him navigate onto a different website since I made my unsettling discovery. He's on there at least 3 nights a week. Is he slowly saving up to purchase a wife? What's taking so long? Is he a very discerning shopper? I don't have the answers but wouldn't be surprised if he comes in one night with a tattoo of hair on his head, a hot Moldovan chick on his arm, and a request for 2 guest user passes.